Sunday, September 16, 2012

My Cutie Pie... my reason for all this.

Here is some cuteness to start your week with...

My Husband is a CAL Bears fan... Imagine his surprise when he came home to this little Devil fan. :)

Wake Up Call!!! (weekly weigh in)

I knew things would slow down, but I didn't expect them to slow down this much.  ESPECIALLY because I haven't been eating out of control, nor have I been shoving my face full of bad foods or huge amounts. In fact, I have been under calories according to FIT Pal, every day.  Hubby says I just need to "release" some pressure if ya know what I mean, and well... yeah that could be part of the issue... Oh well. I am not going to let this get me down, I am just going to learn and grow and move on. I can officially start exercising tomorrow and I am super excited about that. Maybe that will give me the kick in the pants that I need.

Weight the day before surgery: 267
Last Week's Weight: 253.4
Today's weight: 251.4

That's a - 2 pounds. Not a lot, but still a loss... :) Guess that's what happens when you start eating real food again.

Things I am struggling with:

I have NO CLUE what to eat.  (I was told this was the hardest part, and they were right.)
Protein drinks make me want to toss my cookies. (Its a mental thing I swear...)
I am not able to eat the 1500 calories FIT Pal says I need, and some days I don't even get to 1200 (actually most days I don't. I average about 900-1000) Is it like this for anyone else??? The Surgeon wasn't really clear on a calorie count, what are your goals out there in Band Land? 

I'll end with things I am proud of:

No Soda. (None, since surgery and I don't even really want it anymore anyway.)
No Bread. (yep, nada, zilch, zero...)
No Processed sweets. (I won't say no sugar, because well I'm not into lying.. haha But still not a lot of that either...)

Thanks for reading and for all your amazing thoughts and comments that you are willing to share with me. I need all the help and support I can get and I love reading and hearing about your journeys as well. :)


Thursday, September 13, 2012

Two Weeks Post Op

I feel Fan-FREAKING-Tastic! Seriously. I haven't felt this good in sooooooo long. There are lots of reasons, the biggest is overcoming the depression from my son's birthing near death. (more on that in another post). I have been getting better and better since, but today I woke up and realized that my face looks different. It's slightly thinner, but that's not what caught my eye... I am literally LIT up y'all. It's weird and exciting to see a glow again where I used to fake it with bronzer and blush. It's nice not to have sunken eyes that look dead inside when seeing my reflection. And it's really nice to know that all of this is happening because I made the decision to stop blaming myself for everything and just allow myself a little bit of happiness and a lot a bit of health.
I am so happy that I made this decision and extremely excited for what is to come!

I am not going to weigh myself like I have been. I am writing this as a promise to myself because I dont want to obsess over the scale. So I will see y'all on Sunday for weigh in day! :)


(ps. My son is fine, don't worry. In fact he is better than fine, he is a medical miracle. The story is just hard to tell because it still tugs at my heart strings. Especially because in taking OB in nursing school right now! Promise to upload his birth story or something some day for those of you that are interested!)

PPS: I did my first 12 hour clinical shift on Wednesday since getting the band. That was super hard! I had a really tough time towards the end of the day because I ran out of gas... Gonna have to figure out a way to keep my energy up!

Ok that's it. For real this time. Xo!

Sunday, September 9, 2012

Weekly Weigh In!

I decided that I will only do measurements once a month, otherwise I may drive myself nutso. But I will keep on doing a weekly weigh in and the day that I have chosen is....... drum roll please..... well, OK, duh, its today.

Weight the day before surgery: 267
Today's weight: 253.4

That's THIRTEEN POINT SIX Friggin' pounds!

A Pain in the Port!

Looking for some guidance here, or maybe just some reassurance.
The area where my port is secured to my muscle wall is painful, well not painful, but irritating to the touch. There is an incision almost directly over it and it is not inflamed or hot or anything like that. Do you think its just healing on the inside, where the muscle is attached to the port, and that is the discomfort I am feeling?
You would think that being in nursing school and having a medical background about 90 pages long, I would know this and not be worried. BUT that is the only thing that is hurting more or less. Let me know your thoughts!

Thursday, September 6, 2012

One Week Post Op!

If a year ago you were to ask me if I ever thought I would be a size smaller than a 16, my answer would have surely been, Hell to the no. But this amazing opportunity and decision came before me to change my mind, my perspective, my habits, and quite simply, MY LIFE, and now that I'm a week out I know I will never regret this.

The past week has been filled with ups and downs, hunger pangs and nausea, incision pain and a few tears, but seeing that number on the scale drop day after day made it all worth it. I've been eating full, or what I like to call thick liquids for a couple days, and feeling that restriction is so amazing! I know that I can do this with the help of my little band! I don't feel nearly as hungry as I first did and I am learning more and more every day about feeding myself and making sure I get enough water. (my biggest challenge by far is the H2O!) I feel great and am really excited to move on!

One week post op weigh-in:
256 lbs

That's 11 pounds since the day before surgery people!

I know this probably won't last, and I may gain some back when I start eating normal food instead of liquids, but I'm going to soak it in and use this little surge of weight loss, be it actual or water loss - I really don't care, to motivate me to buckle down, make healthy choices and exercise my little heart out. That way when the day comes and I see my goal weight on that scale I will know that I worked my tight little butt off for it and I will own that shiz! (I may even buy myself a trophy... ;-) )

Thank you all for checking in on me, for your thoughts and prayers, and most of all your encouragement! I appreciate all of your comments and emails, they really kept me going this week!


Sunday, September 2, 2012

Clear Liquids, growling tummy....

So they say clear liquids for a week..... well that just plain sucks. I am really hungry at this point, and have already contemplated moving on to yogurts and pudding. I can't keep myself energized with just clear liquids and am finding myself fantasizing about oatmeal... yea, oatmeal. So whats a girl to do? Break the rules of course....

Now before y'all yell at me, I just want to say that I feel great. I am not in much pain at all and I can really feel the band working and have already found myself in tune with it. So I gave some pudding a shot, plain ol' vanilla pudding, and it was fantastic! Don't worry, I'm still too scared to push it much beyond that and have been sticking to chicken broth for the most part... I really hope that this phase doesn't last long, I want to get back to normalcy as quickly as possible. (You will come to find while reading this blog that I am as impatient, as I am laid back. Great combination most of the time, but in this case it makes me feel like a yo-yo.)

As far as an update goes, I feel great! My incisions are healing up nicely and I only have a small amount of pain that is localized to those sites. I can feel the band in there... I can feel restriction and even feel full with liquids, but only for a while since they slide right through. I have no gas pains, and only had a little right after surgery, AND they never made their way up to my shoulders. SUHWEET!  I am moving around with ease, and am only sore after sitting for a long time.

Ever hear the saying that nurses make awful patients? Well that goes for pretty much anyone in the healthcare field, and being a nursing student means that I know the limits, which means I know how to push them. So with that in mind, I have gone straight back to mommy life, with help from my own mommy, and am taking care of my little man like this never happened. He didn't give me much of a choice in the matter, bolting right at me as soon as I walked in the door. He has been so sweet, though, he knows that I hurt and even pointed at my belly and said oooooo, which is Owie for a one year old. (you know, in case you didn't know. ;) )